Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
