And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just had sex on a roof
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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