yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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