She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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