no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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