i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
