dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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