he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
