Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
