I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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