So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
