I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
