I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Randomize