Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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