I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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