are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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