Plan B is the new Plan A
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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