we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
