Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
