i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
