It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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