that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize