Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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