Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
