Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
