I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
