Your tits are I can't wait for
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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