Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
