Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
