Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
now i know why i became what i already was.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
