I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
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I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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