We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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