I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize