gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize