do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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