He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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