bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
