So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
