That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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