Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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