you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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