I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I have tasted many bathrooms
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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