So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
