I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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