Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
not ubering you a puppy
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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