I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
