the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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