I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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