Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
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It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
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Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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