Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
