Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
