Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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